The hard working journalists at the Onion News Network have produced yet another worldwide exclusive: Now Google is offering users the chance to completely defend their privacy by simply moving to some remote mountain village.
John Carter, Opt Out Village director, said "If you want to keep your information personal, just move to our 22-acre Opt Out Village and not speak to anyone from the exterior world."
In fact, a van will arrive within minutes of opting out to pick users up at their homes. Villagers are likely to know how to grow their own food and bury corpses by hand, and will have to barter or fight for resources.
"If you don't want to give us complete access to your most personal thoughts and feelings, that's fine," Carter added. "You can just toil in the hinterlands and die young."
